The Results Are In

"Well... shit." That was pretty much my reaction to stepping on the scale this morning, one day after returning from the Great White North. To recap: *On Thanksgiving morning I weighed 200 pounds. *I challenged myself to lose SOMETHING between then and January 2nd (the official end of the holiday eating festivities) *I left for New Hampshire weighing 196.5 pounds. OK, are we all caught up? Good. Because now you can commiserate/laugh/cry right along with me when I tell you the scale read 202.5. Yes dear readers, yours truly gained 6 pounds in just 10 short days. How you may ask? Well it wasn't easy. Gaining that much weight in that short a period of time takes hard work, dedication and a willingness to eat long after you are hungry. There's a level of determination that only the most seasoned fat people can attain. Gaining weight is not for the faint of heart. No literally... if you gain a lot of weight your heart will pop like a zit. I'd like to blame this on one bad day, but I can't decide which bad day to blame it on. Let's see, there was Christmas Day and the Attack On The Noodles. There was the 26th and The Return of the Ravioli. There was also New Year's Eve and The Revenge of the All You Can Eat Option (A theme park offering unlimited fast food? Might as well hand out shotguns and beer while you're at it). To top it off there was New Year's Day and The Burrito From Hell. So many choices, so much food, so much indigestion. So here I stand, once again on the wrong side of 200 pounds. Well.... shit. But wait, not all is lost! I still manged to lose a total of 50 pounds in 2012 which is not easy to do. And now that the holidays are finally behind us I can get this carnival ride heading in the right direction again. Here's the new goal: 180 pounds. The point at which I will be considered "normal" (whatever that means) as measured by your BMI (Body Mass Index). I'd like to hit that by my birthday, but we'll see. Until then, I'm going to grab a cup of coffee, a laxative and a nap.