So amazingly I've managed to stay at or under 1500 calories for three straight days now. (pause for my standing ovation) I really should just end my post right there because that's a pretty mammoth statement coming from someone who's roughly the size of a mammoth.
Now some people will say that I'm only managing to stay under my Nazi-approved calorie count because I'm not counting my 2 cups of coffee in the morning. And to those people, I would like to instruct you to fornicate vigorously with your own person. *paints face blue and hops on a horse* This diet may take away my doughnuts and cake.... but they'll never take.... MY CAFFEINE!!!! *cut to wide angle shot of thousands of men in kilts rejoicing at my words*
Naturally the universe continues to challenge me. During these last two days I've been attending teacher trainings and the #1 rule that all trainers must abide by is: "Thou shalt hand out much chocolately goodness to keep your audience from falling asleep and/or rioting." And I have to hand it to my trainers, they brought the chocolate thunder. Today a box of peanut butter M&M's sat on my desk and taunted me for 3 full hours. Inside that cardboard fortress lay dozens of peanut butter balls ever so moist, so sweet, so lovely. Every one tenderly covered with a candy shell. A delicious protector of the precious peanut butter that eagerly waits to be eaten underneath.
I may or may not have an erection right now but I can't be the only one that gets horny thinking about peanut butter M&M's right? RIGHT??!!??
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