Our new Sunday routine involves Church with the extended family, followed by lunch somewhere. Since I've started this Death Diet, eating out has become about as enjoyable as proctology exams. I'm surrounded by people eating all the fun stuff while I order rabbit food and a side order of suffering. Today we decided on Jason's Deli which I've long been a fan of because they have a kick-ass salad bar. Yes, despite my penchant for deep-fried goodness, I'm a sucker for a good salad bar.
Today I realized why this is not a good thing.
I started off with lettuce, which is standard operating procedure and very low cal. A few grape tomatoes and onions and we're off to a good start. This is where things went sideways quickly. I instinctively reach for the shredded cheese. Nope. Feta cheese. Nada. Croutons. Not so much. Bacon bits... oddly enough, bacon bits are OK. Olives... kinda high in calories but at this point I was already so distraught over the cheese and croutons that I needed a few pick-me-up olives to stop me from stabbing myself with the salad fork. Then we get to the dressing. The fact that I had to select Lite Ranch didn't bother me, it was the fact that I could only use one ladle of it instead of smothering my salad in creamy goodness like I'm used to.
I had such high hopes going into this lunch and by the time it was all over, there I was eating rabbit food again. As it turns out my penchant for salads has not been kind to my waistline lo these many years. In fact last week at Taco Bell I almost made the mistake of ordering a salad before I realized I would have been better off ordering 15 tacos. Taco Bell's "healthy" salads? Roughly the same caloric intake as a whopper (and way less fun to eat).
Salad, you backstabbing bastard... why have you forsaken me?
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