For starters, today is Friday and therefore the end of the first full week of teaching. Now while I do love my class this year, I don't care what you teach, where you teach, and what kids you have... after the first week you needs to get you some drinky drinky (or as my wife and I refer to it around the kids "Pain Go Bye Bye Juice"). The problem (as I'm sure you can guess by this point), is that adult beverages tend to be rather high on the calorie count. Now that's not to say I can't have a frosty beverage or two, but methinks "one or two" isn't a number that's going to have any substantial effect. So instead of organizing an after school faculty meeting at the nearest happy hour (wink wink), I went home and ate pork stir fry. It WAS delicious but it was NOT 5 margaritas all lined up and marching their way into my mouth to have a little Mexican hat dance in my belly.
But hey, it's not all bad news... this morning the scale registered a 227 which means I've crossed the 230 pound barrier. Since I'm sure some of you have never quite dealt with numbers that large, please allow me to translate: I've been downgraded from a Double Super Fat-Ass to your standard garden variety Super Fat-Ass.
To put it yet another way, today I wore a shirt that was one size smaller than what I've been able to wear in well over a year. Instead of my normal XXL, the shirt was XL and fit me comfortably. And while that is in fact something to celebrate, let's not forget what XL actually stands for. It's extra-large, as in bigger than large. Like you are so large, you defy all previous measurements of just plain old large and we had to create a whole new way of sizing clothes just to find enough material to cover your fat ass.
I think Winston Wolf said it best:
What I weighed when I first bought my scale around February: 252
What I weight before I went to see the Evil Doctor in July: 242
What I weigh as of this morning: 227
Total weight lost: 25 pounds
Total number of crushed hopes and dreams: untold millions
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